today's a rainy wed... well.. frankly speaking.. now im feeling "rainy" too.. been crying for the past hr.. haiz.. im juz kinda disappointed.. juz felt its such a waste tat i couldn't have the chance to experience something i longed for.. but its ok.. i will get over it very soon de..

i got the news tat abel got into the finals.. which means.. bissentials' out.. hmm i stoned for a while when i heard the news.. i din noe how 2 react.. abel din noe how 2 break the news to me.. so sis hj called me n talked to me.. she knew i was sad.. n she told me to cry my heart out.. n yap.. i really did.. tears juz keep rolling down.. non-stop for the past 1 hr.... i duno.. but i felt kinda bu gan yuan.. not becoz im jealous tat abel got in.. but becoz im disappointed with myself.. guess i expected too much out of myself.. its like we put in so much effort.. but everything's juz over after tat 2 mins.. i enjoyed the singing sessions.. i enjoyed the time when we gan chiong together.. encouraged each other when one of us is down.. yea.. ppl may say these r the things which really matter.. its the experience.. many ppl have been telling us.. results doesn't matter.. its the process tat counts.. yea.. true.. but to us.. its really more than that... perhaps we both really expect alot out of this..

hmmm anyway.. after the conversation with sis hj.. i felt much better.. perhaps tat really isn't my calling.. everything happen for a reason.. so yea.. i gotta get over this.. in fact.. i felt happy for abel.. really.. at least he got in.. n his talent wun go to waste =) ... so.. i mustn't be selfish!.. so abel JIA YOU!!..

sis hj told me im a strong ger.. but am i really 1??.. i've been trying very hard 2 be strong.. trying hard not 2 rely on my own strength.. but the fact is.. my flesh is weak... im not perfect.. but i kept telling myself its ok.. i leave it all to God.. i trust in Him to show me His will.. feeling better after a good cry.. i shall return to my normal self after a good nite sleep.. everything's gonna go back to normal tmr!.. there's always a brighter side of life.. worth looking forward to.. everything's gonna be alrite.. =) Praise the Lord!!
*//W|sHeD uPoN @ sTaR//* | 11:52 PM